West Byfleet Live

On 25 July I accepted an invitation for a solo appearance, without the DG being the centre of attention.  Finally, I thought I can show my qualities as an A list celebrity, making a high profile appearance at a big event. I wasn’t sure what would be expected of me, whether I was to open the event, or perhaps present some awards and prizes, or perhaps just to give a few well-chosen words by way of a motivational speech. However I was entirely confident that I could rise to the occasion whatever my duties would be.

The event, called West Byfleet LI:VE (I don’t know why it’s spelt that way) was organised by our Rotary club president, Pauline Hedges on behalf of the West Byfleet Business Association, so obviously she would know the value of having a VIP of my status in attendance. I expected there would be a Hospitality tent where I would meet other dignitaries over a glass of wine and some vol-au-vents, and offer encouragement to the organisers. However it didn’t quite work out like that.

When I arrived at the venue, I found it was being supported by a number of our club members who were acting as volunteer stewards, including David Williams, Doreen Pipe, and Norma Kent and I expressed my approval for their sterling support. There was nobody specifically assigned to greet me, which I was a little surprised about, after all it is little details like this which set quality events apart from the others. David was good enough to point out the control centre to me and I found my own way there.

                                                                                             Pauline and Fiona

Pauline and her daughter Fiona were found at the nerve centre, organising the whole event, and after giving me a hi-viz jacket to wear (I wondered why it was necessary for me to wear one – surely the whole point of having a VIP in attendance is that they should stand out from the crowd, not look like everybody else) I was shown outside. Perhaps now I will be taken to the hospitality tent, I thought. But no, I was then handed a black sack and a litter picker and directed to a far corner of the field to commence work.  After initial shock, I thought ‘What a brilliant idea, to show that the Consort to the DG could do menial work just like other people. Now I could hold my head high among the locals’.

                                                                                      Not quite what I was expecting

The event was situated on a huge field in West Byfleet, alongside the parish church, with the control centre being on the upper floor of a sports pavilion. At the far side of the field was the Funfair, an excellent one, with dodgems, scary rides and a hall of mirrors among other entertainments. In front of the Funfair were various food outlets offering such tempting delicacies as paella, Fish and chips, and the ubiquitous burgers and sausages. On Saturday, a large lorry trailer would be positioned as a stage for various local bands to perform on. Also, in front of the pavilion, there would be a giant screen positioned, as the film Dirty Dancing was to be shown in the evening.

                                                                               The fairground on Friday evening

As I took a break from my litter picking I wandered among the food outlets to find something for my dinner, and was pleasantly surprised to come across Lisa Schoeman (a former member of our Rotary Club) with her husband Henri running their South African food stall, Henri's. I bought one of their excellentboerewors sausages in a roll. To wash it down I was offered a free cup of tea by the charming lady running the next door stall, Rio's Diner. It seems that wandering around with a litter picker and black sack has its advantages.

                                                 Rio's Diner, where the kind lady took pity on a poor litter collector

One thing that did amaze me was that I could walk along one area and clear any litter that I see, only to turn round and go back the same way, and find a load more litter deposited on the ground within minutes. Apart from plastic bottles and tins that one might expect, I was amazed that some family had eaten a whole cardboard packet of biscuits, and when they finished it, just dropped the empty packet on the ground, a few yards from a litter bin. What must their home look like?

                                                                          I was frightened to walk past this ride

I thought it was time for a break so I joined David Williams, who was sitting at one of the entrances to the field, counting people as they came in. I wonder if he realised that there were three other entrances that weren’t being covered by anybody, so probably only 25% of the visitors were actually being recorded. I fetched us both a pint of London Pride from the beer tent (he insisted on paying) and he regaled me with stories about some of the colourful characters who used to come into his car spares shop, including someone who asked for 5 pounds of sausages.

                                                                               Pauline gives David some instructions

After a bit more desultory litter picking, my 2 hour stint was over, and I went back to the control centre to clock out. Pauline and Fiona thanked me for my efforts, and off I went. I never did find the Hospitality Tent.